Sunday, May 13, 2012

Goodbye, Facebook!

 In an effort to reclaim my life, I will soon be deactivating my FB account. This will be difficult for me, but that's even more of an indication of why I need to do it. I will also only check my email a couple times a day, so you may not get an immediate response. I will not be responding to texts unless urgent and I reserve the right to not be chained to having my phone on me at all times. I just need to narrow my focus and live in the moment with face to face interactions for the time being. I am not angry or running from anything; it's just that when I look at where I spend my time, I see that FB, email, and texting suck too many hours from my life. I want (and need) to spend my time in more meaningful and personal ways. I've allowed all of this technology and being instantly available to control me, instead of my controlling the technology and my accessibility. I'm sure if something is important enough for me to know, someone will tell me in person, or will call or email! I KNOW that I will miss you and all of your posts and pictures, but I thank you, in advance, for your understanding! Blessings to you all!

This was my last official FB post.  What follows below is a comment I left on that post giving a little more of an idea as to why I had to take such a radical step.  Maybe you can relate?

‎"I don’t understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate." Rms 7:15 This verse sums up my relationship with FB, Pinterest, the internet, and my email!

Facebook has become a compulsion for me; you can see that in the fact that I felt I needed to give notice to everyone before I deactivated my account so someone wouldn't think that something was wrong or be wondering what happened to me. I really want to do what's right for me in my life, and instead, I do the very thing I don't want to do - spend hours on FB, et al.

"Hello, my name is Gena and I am a FB addict." (Insert, "Hello, Gena" here). I'm sure I'm the only person who struggles with this, but with FB, I find that I am afraid I will miss something, so I sit there scrolling and clicking all the way to the last time I checked statuses. And all the while, anxiety and restlessness will start to grow in me because I know what I should be doing, and I seem incapable of making a good choice for myself. I have heard from several sources lately that we (even us women) can't multi-task as well as we think we can; something always gets shorted. So.....I fill my mind with ALL of this info from other people and I end up neglecting my family and my responsibilities. In spending time on FB/pinterest/the internet/email, I give up time to take care of myself, to care for my home, to spend time with God, and unfortunately and to my shame, to really BE with my family. I lose moments in real time with my family to read about someone else's moments. I also see people (especially some young moms I have talked to) playing this comparison game concerning what other families are able to do, their gorgeous family photos, where they go on vacation, the awards and honors and athletic accomplishments of other people's kids, etc... It's like a poison begins to build in our souls that leads us to believe that: we aren't good enough; that our spouse doesn't do enough for us; our homes are not nice enough; we don't get to have the great vacations other families have, our average kids aren't good enough, etc, etc.... Why do we do this to ourselves?!

I know that no one can take control of my life for me. No one can mother my kids but myself. It may seem radical to deactivate my FB; I mean, can't I just NOT CHECK IT as often? No, I can't. I've tried that before, and if I am able to access it, I will end up spending hours on it. I need to take radical action to get my life in alignment with my priorities. I can't trust myself to do the best thing for me, so, for me, it takes deactivating. If I don't, I know I'll get sucked back in like the addict who can't take just one drink or pill or hit.

I already feel that I fail at so many things, and with FB, I feel even more responsibility to know what's going on with each of my FB friends' lives. I can't keep up with my immediate family and those I interact with, so why do I willingly add over 500 FB "friends" that I feel a need to keep up with? Don't get me wrong, each of you, my FB friends, is there because I have and want some connection with you. I love seeing what you are up to, but I need to do that more the old-fashioned way - Christmas cards or email or phone calls. And....all of the rest of my family is on FB, so you can message them if you have something I need to know about and you don't know another way to reach me.

I have come to the conclusion that FB is not the most responsible (or healthy) way for me to connect. I wish it were different, but right now, it is what it is.

To all of my family (close and extended), I will miss seeing all of your posts and pictures, and maybe sometime in the future, I will be able to add FB back into my life in a responsible manner. For now, you know how to reach me, even though it won't be as easy to do that. Thank you for your patience and understanding.

I pray God's richest blessings on you all, and may you be able to balance your personal, spiritual, work, play, and tech lives better than I have been able to.

Much love,