Book Title and Burned Biscuits

There's been a couple of comments on Mary's blog about the title to the book, Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture. It seems that perhaps some people might be put off from reading the book because of the title. Most comments, including mine, mention that perhaps it is the term, "postmodern," that is the cause of some confusion or ambiguity. I mentioned in an earlier blog that Mary does a good job of defining the term in her book, but I'm wondering, "What thoughts come to your mind when your read that title?" Does it seem like a book you would be interested in? Why or why not? I just thought it might be interesting to read what some of you are thinking.

Also, feel free to ask any questions you might have for me. You can always check on my profile and email me if you feel that you wouldn't want to leave your question in a comment.

Tonight, David and I went with my sister and her husband to the Westside Theatre in Newman to see the bluegrass musical group, Burned Biscuits. I know the name is weird, but the group is very talented, and they had some really cool t-shirts for sale. (I didn't buy one, however.) There was also an opening band called Scott Gates and the Pacific Ocean Bluegrass, and they had a nine year old girl who played the mandolin and sang (yes, that's right.....9 years old!), and she was great. It was worth going just to see such talent in that little girl. For me, bluegrass is fine in small doses, so although the talent was great, tonight was just enough to tide me over for a while. :-)

Authentic Parenting-Part 4

Hello everyone!


If you'd like to read an excerpt from the book, click here.

To purchase, click here. I think you'll find that it is a pretty quick and thought-provoking read, so you'll want to underline as you go along. I thought I'd give you glimpse into a couple of the thoughts that I underlined while reading:

Page 42- "So through the jumble of parenting in a shifting culture, cling to Jesus' simple truth. Seek His kingdom. Trust. Dare not to be anxious. Point your children to the life of Christ residing dynamically within you."

Page 53- "A friend of mine has a dear son named Jacob who lives with a brain injury. The few times I've seen him, I have met pieces of Jesus. (Gena here: that is just a GREAT sentence!) He understands the gospel in a simple way yet more profoundly than I ever will. [His mother, Jeanne,] shares stories about him on her blog....."The most remarkable thing about Jacob now is his faith, which radiates from him with such intensity one can only wonder what fellowship he shared with his Father during those months of darkness.....I sensed God speaking to my heart and asking me what I wanted most for my children. I answered, "That when they stand in Your presence, You will say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." God reminded me how Jacob's faith touches so many. It was as though he said, "Jacob is my good and faithful servant. I'm satisfied in him. I want you to be too." As parents we aspire to great things for our kids. Jacob taught me to keep my eye on the one most important goal."
[Author Mary DeMuth again] That's what bothers me about all the pontificating. It's as if we've lost Jesus in the midst of our very intellectual discussions about postmodernity. We've divorced ourselves from modern tradition, from Scriptural authenticity. But instead of being anchored, we float around discussing paradigms and community and mystery. We use lots of really smart words to define Christianity. We make it appealing to thinkers while Jacob flings his arms heavenward and simply adores his Saviour.

Page 192- If I were to summarize the way most of us parent our children, I would have to say this: We primarily parent-and dare I say live our lives-to reduce pain and increase properity. We protect our children from the radical call of Christ because, to be honest,truly following after His kingdom messes with our plans. It's difficult. Painful.....But as Bonhoffer says, "When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die."

Page 211 - To worship God is a profoundly countercultural task because it deals a decisive blow to our selfishness.

Page 214 - So much pressure exists for parents to produce perfect children that we unwittingly pressure our children to follow harder after rules than after Jesus.

Meet Mary and read her crazy blog here.

Authentic Parenting-Part 3

As promised, today I'm sharing an interview with Mary DeMuth.




Mary, aren’t there already a bazillion parenting books out there? Why did you feel the need to write this book?

Yes, I do believe there are a bazillion. I always struggle when I write a parenting book because I feel so darned small and weak. I don’t parent perfectly. But, we did live through two and half years in France, the hotbed of hyper-postmodernity. We had to learn how to parent our kids in that culture. It occurred to me that the things we learned would be helpful to American parents too.

Briefly, what does the term postmodern mean, and why should it matter to us as parents?

Postmodernism is the waiting room between what used to be a modern worldview and what will be. According to several postmodern scholars, we’re in a shift right now, leaving modern ideas behind, but what we are shifting to is not yet fully defined.

Postmoderns believe that rationalism and/or more education doesn’t necessarily create a better society. They typically don’t embrace the notion of absolute truth, though they reach for the transcendent. They are skeptical, and often question whether science is something to be embraced or feared.

The question for parents is how will we mine the current worldview, even as it shifts? What in it can we embrace as biblical? What is not biblical? What I’ve seen in the church is a fearful adherence to what is familiar. So we cling to modern ideas, even though they may not be biblical and shun postmodern ideas even when they might be biblical. Our children will meet this shifting worldview no matter what our opinion of it is.

How can we as parents help our children prepare for the world outside their door?

Become a conversational parent. Talk to your kids. Listen. Share your story.
Dare to believe that God has much to teach you through your kids. Be humble enough to learn from them.
Create a haven for your kids, an oasis in your home that protects, supports, and gives kids space to be themselves. Take seriously the mandate that you are responsible for the soul-nurturing of your children.
Teach your children to joyfully engage their world, while holding tightly to Jesus’ hand. Teaching this comes primarily from modeling it in your own life. Do you engage your neighbors? Are you more interested in God’s kingdom than your own?
Admit your failures openly with your children, showing how much you need Jesus to live your daily life.

You are the first to admit that being authentic might require a parent to apologize after an angry outburst. I know I've had to do that a time or two. Are you saying that authentic parents don’t always have it all together as some would like to think?

Yep! We are all frail, needy humans. If we present ourselves as perfect parents, never failing, always doing this correctly, we show our children we have no need of Jesus. We also set up a standard of perfection—that to be a Christian, one has to be perfect. This can lead to our children creating elaborate facades or hiding behind masks. I’d rather have my children see that even mommies make mistakes. Even mommies need Jesus every single day.

You talk about the twin values of engagement and purity. What do you mean by that?

Many parents subconsciously believe that true parenting means protection at any cost. We received a lot of flak for putting our children in French schools because the atmosphere there wasn’t exactly nurturing. Believe me, the decision was excruciating. But through it all, I realized that Jesus calls us all to be engaged in the culture we live in, yet not to be stained by it. That’s the beauty of engagement and purity.

Abraham understood this. After God told him to leave everything and venture to a new place, he obeyed: “From there he went on toward the hills east of Bethel and pitched his tent, with Bethel on the west and Ai on the east. There he built an altar to the LORD and called on the name of the LORD” (Genesis 12:8). Oswald Chambers elaborates: “Bethel is the symbol of communion with God; Ai is the symbol of the world. Abraham pitched his tent between the two.” As parents journeying alongside our children through a postmodern world, this concept of pitching our tent between communion with God and engagement in the world should encourage us.

I have my own struggles with postmodernism, but what bugs you about postmodernism?

I happen to believe in absolute truth, so that’s a problem! But more than that, I worry that all our rambling about it, trying to discern what it is, has caused us to rely more heavily on our own intellectual pursuit of God than our heart. When I get caught up in that, I remind myself of my friend Jeanne’s son Jacob, whose heart after Jesus takes my breath away. Living with a brain injury, Jacob throws off pretense as he worships God, arms vaulted to the sky in unashamed heart worship. That’s the kind of believer I want to be. That’s the kind of heart I want. I love this verse: “But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ” (2 Corinthians 11:3). For me, for my children, that’s my prayer, that we’d be simply and purely devoted to Jesus no matter what worldview we find ourselves in.

Thanks, Mary, for your thoughtful answers and your time.

Authentic Parenting-Part 2

After reading the book, Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture - Practical Help for Shaping Your Children's Hearts, Minds, and Souls, I am encouraged and challenged in how David and I are raising our children. I am encouraged because we have lived honestly before our children and have shared openly about our faults and failures as individuals and as parents. In fact, just yesterday I had to tell my son that I haven't parented a 15 year old boy before, so perhaps he could tell me how I might do a better job. (AND I didn't say that in a sarcastic voice, it was sincere! ;-) We had a good visit, and he told me that he needs me to tell him what to do one time and set a time limit for it, and then not to bug him again. Good advice, right? So, I learned from my child, and that's one of the themes from Mary's book - children and parents must listen to one another, be honest and open-hearted with one another, and learn from one another. In other words, we need to have a CONVERSATIONAL APPROACH to life because that will serve our children best as they leave our home and venture out into a postmodern world.

I was also challenged reading this book because I was shown that I have often mistaken protection for parenting. This is such an easy thing to do, and I (and Dave) have done this with the best of intentions. Like many parents, we want our children to know the truth of Jesus, but we haven't allowed them in many situations where they've had to rely on that Truth. I want my children to absolutely love the Lord Jesus with their whole hearts, and to know their need of Him, but I've unwittingly put up barriers to that by my protection of them that was mostly motivated by fear. I don't think I'm alone in not fully trusting God with my children. We say that we've given our children back to the Lord, but we try to control so much of their lives that we are showing them (and the world) that we don't trust Him with our children.

Another thought: the term "postmodern" is thrown around a lot these days, and Mary does a good job of defining what that means. I appreciated her definitions and examples of modernity and postmodernity. She accurately points out that because our culture is shifting (not our need for Jesus or the absolute truth of His word) "and most of postmodern thought is a reaction against modernity, we're (parents) are better off if we simply try to follow Jesus in the midst of the change as we love our children." (page 26) Isn't that how we all desire to live? We want to "engage as a family in people's lives in such a way that beckons them to Jesus Christ without sacrificing our family to the world system." (page 28) Mary tells us how we can better do that.

I thought today I'd share from the back cover of the book. It says:

Tired of trite answers about family life? So are your kids.

Your children are growing up in a world that's different from the one you knew as a child. In this postmodern culture,people are discovering and living out truth in radically new ways. Mary DeMuth highlights the pitfalls of this new worldview and demonstrates how you can use its strengths to enhance your relationships with your children and prepare them to genuinely live out and effectively communicate the good news of Jesus Christ.

With her own imperfect family life as an example, Mary reveals the helpfulness of...
-engaging your kids in conversations instead of issuing ultimatums
-seeing your children's behaviors as windows into your own spiritual life
-coaching your children instead of lecturing them
-modeling the transparent, authentic lifestyle you want for your kids
-demonstrating a life of thankfulness, creativity, and service


Find out how you can use this new way of thinking to cooperate with God's work in your family and in the world.

Gena here again: Tomorrow I'll post an interview with Mary that I think you'll enjoy. Remember, we're all on this journey together, and we need to learn and grow together. I cannot be all that God designed me to be without you, and neither can my family be all that God designed us to be without your family. I am honored to be a part of God's family along with you.

Blessings to you all!

Authentic Parenting

I'm reading a book right now called Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture, and I find that the author's words and premise resonate within my spirit as a Christian parent. I asked to be a part of the blog tour for this book, so I will be posting more about it as the week goes on. If you are interested in the book or the author, visit Mary's helpful and fun website here.

You can check out the other blogs participating on the Authentic Parenting Tour this week. For a complete listing of the blogs participating in the six week tour, visit here.
Almost Hypergraphic
AskMeanMom.com
Audra Marie
Blogging for Writers
Camy’s Loft Coming Home
Edgewise
FreshBrewedWriter
Good Word Editing
Heather in Madrid
Lexical Light
Mother Inferior
Pattie’s Place
Portrait of a Writer...Interrupted
Seedlings in Stone
Spaghettipie
Spoiled for the Ordinary
They Hang Like Paper Lanterns
Writer...Interrupted


If you are interested in purchasing the book, you can click here.

Please check back this week to learn more about my thoughts on this book. I look forward to sharing with you what I am learning and thinking.