My Beautiful Children
In an attempt to actually interact with my children, I will be taking a break from posting for the summer. Unless something truly interesting happens (which, face it, 99.95% of my blog posts have not been about anything interesting), I won't be posting. I also will not be checking my email regularly; I plan to pick one day a week to check my emails (by then I'll have hundreds, but oh well). So.......if you would like to contact me, you'll have the old-fashioned choices of either picking up the phone to call me or (horror of horrors) writing me a letter and sending it snail mail.
As I step away, I will be in prayer regarding whether this blog is something that will continue. I was only doing this blog as a step of obedience to what I felt the Lord was calling me to do two years ago, but I know for certain that His plan for me was NOT to abandon my children as I became more and more addicted to checking my email and keeping up with blogs (both mine and others). As my children grow and go forth into their lives, they won't remember if I answered every last email or text, or if I kept up with posting or reading the many blogs I've come to enjoy, or if I always had some witty, little saying for my facebook status, or if I cared about twittering, blackberries, instant messaging, or online devotionals. But my children will remember if I took the time to play that game of Sorry, or to walk to the library, or to read out loud to them, or to visit family, or to swim, or to roast marshmallows, or to just sit down face to face with them and really, I mean REALLY, listen to them.
I am ashamed to say how long it's been since I've given myself to my kids. I meet needs (sometimes); I wash clothes and buy groceries; and I'm in the same house with them, but I am not WITH them. There is great value in being fully present in the here and now, and I'll be really honest and just tell you that that is a struggle for me and how my brain is wired. I don't care where I am or who I'm with, my brain is going a hundred miles an hour, thinking of anything and everything except just enjoying the current moment. Lack of engagement (disconnect) is also a part of my battle with depression. I am praying that the Lord will help me to be able to change and overcome this. I would covet your prayers regarding this issue.
I am the only mother that will be standing before God accounting for the training, parenting, and loving of the four precious children He has given me. I don't think I will hear "Well done," if I have neglected my husband and children because of my over-involvement with keeping up with emails and blogs. I am choosing to step out of the technology fast lane (well, with me and technology, it's more like stepping out of the right hand, slow lane on the freeway, but you get the point).
I am feeling such a sense of empowerment by making this choice, but I also wonder about those who may email me and not get a response right away. I do not have an "auto respond" with my email address, so I don't know how to let people know I'm not being rude, but that I'm only checking my emails once a week. I know that others have become accustomed to me checking my emails multiple times a day, but I just don't want to do that anymore. I think I have "Disconnect Anxiety," which is an actual disorder now, I guess. Click the link for a very interesting article that I just found when writing this post. I guess the pain of continuing to be chained to my email and computer is more than my worry and anxiety about hurting someone's feelings or missing something important.
So, my friend, I bid you goodbye for the summer. If you have children, please join me in evaluating the amount of time you spend being with your kids, but not WITH your kids.
Thanks for joining me in the journey for these last two years. I consider it an honor that you have given some of the measured moments of your life to traveling this path with me. I most earnestly pray blessings, peace, and health for you all.
In His name and for His glory,
Oh, and in case you think I'm overstating the case that my family needs me to be more attentive and involved with them, just take a look at this.