Well, hello there!

Wow! It's been a year and a month since I last posted here, and I've had quite a few times I had things on my heart that I wanted to share. Instead, I focused on what was in front of me, obeyed the Lord as best I could discern, and set aside this blog.

A lot has happened since my last post. A quick run-down?

February 22, 2011 - Dave and I celebrated 25 years of marriage! I read a quote that was floating around on the internet at Valentine's Day that said "A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." Can I just say, "Ain't that the truth?!" :)

March 2011 - my first fundraising banquet since taking the role of Director with Turlock Pregnancy Center. I felt that it went well, but must say, I was nervous having to get up in front to speak. Some great people shared with us that evening; Eli and Cindi Arrigotti shared about their open adoptions, a client and her boyfriend shared (via video) what the Center had meant to them, and Holly shared about her abortion and why she wished Turlock Pregnancy Center would have existed at that time. We met our fundraising goal for that event - Thank you, Jesus! :)

May 2011 - Servolution #4! Watch this video of a past Servolution and contact me to let me know that you would be willing to lead a team for this year's Servolution (which is now called "Love Turlock" to join other valley cities all serving together on one day, showing love in action).

June 2011 - We headed back to Washington DC for vacation. Eric had to work, but the rest of us had a wonderful time at our nation's capitol. Our favorites? The Library of Congress; the Supreme Court building (very, very interesting; I'd have never thunk it!); the White House; and the Federal Bureau of Engraving. We also visited Williamsburg VA, and Philadelphia PA (loved the National Constitution Center) and the Franklin Institute was phenomenal! The trip was a wonderful time for us all!

June also held a missions trip to Portland, OR for Hannah, Peter, and Dave. Kari was able to go and stay with her Aunt Nancy and Uncle Todd who live there and spend time loving on her cousins Hugo, Augie, and Pearl. She loves the babies, that girl!

In July, I was able to go to the Uppercase Living convention in Las Vegas. Hate Vegas, but had a fun time at the convention, and Dave was able to join me.

August 2011 brought a leadership trip to Costa Rica for Dave. He had a great time suffering for the Lord - white water rafting, zip-lining, hiking, etc... Poor guy!

Also in August, Kari started 8th grade and Peter started his sophomore year. Hannah started her senior year at CSU Stanislaus (unbelievable!). And.....Dave, Eric, Hannah, and I ran The Giant Race half-maration in San Francisco (Peter ran the 5K).

The fall was a rough time for me as I struggled with a herniated disc. My world became a narrow path of pain that kept me from many, many things. After a long road, I ended up having surgery on December 23rd. I had never experienced pain like that ever in my life, and I pretty much only had relief if I was down on my back. I thank God that there was finally an answer to my pain, and I have been great since the surgery. I am back to walking, but I am afraid to try running again as that was when I first noticed the pain. I am hoping that at some point I am at least able to get back to running three - four miles, but that will be a bit down the road.

During those dark and painful times this fall, God allowed me to see that I fill so much of my time with meaningless running and busyness of my own making. Without being able to go-go-go, I had to let many things go, and take it a day at a time. And you know what? The world went on. I had one of the most peaceful Christmases I've ever had with not being able to run hither and yon looking for gifts. I didn't bake all the goodies I usually do. I ordered all my gifts online. And it was all fine! Why, oh why, do I make my life more difficult than it needs to be? I have always said that I have the uncanny ability to make anything more complicated than it has to be, and I want to stop that! O Lord, I ask you to continue to help me sift my life and activities down to what really matters.

So, how was that for a quick rundown of the last year? We're now a month and a half into 2012, and in a couple of days, Dave and I will celebrate our 26th anniversary! I'm so excited that we are able to get away for a couple of nights - those times are necessary for us to reconnect with who we are outside of our jobs, children, and responsibilities. We really are those same two kids who fell in love all those years ago! :) And I'd do it all again in a heartbeat!

Entitlement VS Exposure

Wow! It's been a while, hasn't it? I guess I post most of the day to day Larson happenings on Face Book now, but I've been re-thinking that lately. I don't think I have the courage to totally drop FB yet, but I'm working on it. Too much to keep up with, if you ask me (which you didn't; just thought I'd put in my two cents worth!).

I came across the following article today, and I just thought that is was really solid and sound information, and Oh. So. True. If you are married and have the time, please check it out. I really believe that every person considering marriage should be required to read this.

This comes from a blog called "Simple Marriage," and you might want to subscribe. Not every article relates to where I am specifically, but I haven't found any advice that I don't agree with at the site. So, please give yourself a couple of minutes to pop over to the Simple Marriage site, but if you don't have time, I've included the article below.

Entitlement Vs Exposure (Click link to go to this article on the Simple Marriage website.)

The Difference: Entitlement vs. Exposure

Written by Corey - 5 Comments

If you’ve read Simple Marriage for a while, you know that I believe marriage is design togrow us up.

Our growth is the result of the pressure this relationship puts on us. Pressure to both chart our own course in life and be our own person while at the same time pressure to connect with our partner and enjoy the benefits relationships offer.

Many people fall victim to believing marriage is about happiness.

That you will meet your soul mate, fall madly in love, have a romantic wedding then be swept off into a rose petal covered existence together for the rest of your life.

This Hollywood version of marriage is everywhere … in the movies.

Real life … a different story.

Marriage is not about happiness (although there are times of happiness within the relationship), it’s about growing up. And this all starts at the beginning of the relationship and the beliefs you bring into it.

There are two basic attitudes you could have going into a relationship:

1. An attitude of entitlement, or
2. An attitude of exposure.

Here’s the difference between the two.

An attitude of entitlement believes, “I choose you because you complete me, make me feel secure and good about myself and you make life better for me. I can expect you to meet my needs, take care of me, and make me feel better about myself than I do now. Being in relationship with you is the best thing for me because of what you provide for my life.”

An attitude of entitlement leads to an expectation of reciprocity, “I gave to you so now you owe me something in return.” Or, “I’ll tell you about me, but only if you tell me about you. If you don’t, I won’t either. But I want to, so you have to. I’ll go first and then you are obligated to disclose too: it is only fair. If I go first, you have to make me feel secure because I need to be able to trust you.”

There are many marriages that fall into this category. In these relationships, this attitude is actually a source of frustration, but they don’t realize that it’s this attitude that is causing the frustration. Instead, the spouse is blamed and seen as the cause of the marital issues.

An attitude of exposure says, “I choose you because my relationship with you is one that will expose my personality quirks, character defects and my immature ways of relating to others. This exposure is not the result of anything malicious by you, instead it’s the natural result of our committed relationship. And in this relationship I will have the opportunity to see myself in a light that I seldom do and/or have spent most of my life running from. But if I am willing to look at and address what our relationship exposes about me, I can grow up and mature into more love and passion than ever before.”

An attitude of exposure is not a natural response or view of relationships – BUT IT’S THE BEST WAY TO GROW UP!

Instead of seeing marriage as a place where you are completed, a person who is growing sees marriage as the one place that your incompletion is exposed.

The only other relationship that will expose your incompleteness to this degree is the one with your children.

So, what do you do with these two different attitudes?

First, you must own up to which attitude is yours. This takes some guts and some courage, but it’s worth it. Then second, you then confront life and marriage’s conflict in drastically different ways, depending on which attitude you choose.

If you’re driven by an attitude of entitlement, your main approach to conflict in marriage is: What is wrong with my spouse? And, What is it about my spouse that needs to change so I can experience relief and comfort? You can easily see how Nice Guys and Pleasers fall into this category.

On the other hand, if you go into a relationship with an attitude of exposure, you’ll approach issues and problems by asking: What is this situation exposing about me? And, In what ways do I need to change and grow in order to be able to more effectively love both my spouse AND myself?

Moving from one attitude to the other is a marker of growth. It is also the best way to begin to blow the roof off your marriage’s potential.

24 Years & Mish Mash Monday on Tuesday

Well, 24 years ago today, I found myself in the middle of a beautiful meadow in Yosemite with Dave kneeling before me asking me to marry him!  I'm sure you can figure out that I said, "Yes!"  (I don't regret it, either!)

So, today Dave brought me flowers and a card.  (Aaaawwwww.......)  So sweet.  I also did something for him today in the way of thanking him for taking such a big risk in asking me to be his wife 24 years ago!  The poor man had no idea what he was getting into!   :-)  They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so I baked a berry pie and bought vanilla ice cream to go with it.   Notice I said, "baked," not "made!"  The pie was actually made by the fabulous women of Mitchell Community Church who sell them to raise money for their missionaries.  I buy the pies by the dozen when they sell them; I kid you not!  They've got some great cooks out there at Mitchell, and a friend of mine who attends there always lets me know when the pie sale is coming up so that I can place my order.  Is that cheating?  Don't answer that; I don't want to know.  Our little system is working for me, and I don't want to mess that up!

I didn't get a chance to write Mish Mash Monday's post because I was too busy hanging out at Me N' Ed's Pizza last night for the big Servolution fund raiser they were doing for us.  I can't believe how busy it was!  You New Lifers really like your pizza!  Actually, you New Lifers really love to step in and help, and I had no doubt that we would pack the place out and we did.   In light of all Me N' Ed's is doing to help with Servolution, please make sure to stop by and support them and let them know how much we appreciate their help and generosity.  

We weren't at church on Sunday because we headed over to The Red House.  We were able to relax for a couple of days, but on Sunday, Dave would keep us updated on what was happening at New Life.  At 8:45, he told us, "They're in the middle of worship right now."  At 10:00 AM, he said, "Second service is just starting."  At 12:45, he reminded us that, "They should be wrapping up right about now."  Even when we're away to catch our breath and relax a little bit, his heart is right there with you all.  We always miss being at church, and it will be good to get back next week.

23 Years and Counting

Today marks the 23rd anniversary of the day that Dave and I pledged our love to one another in front of our family and friends.  Amazing!

I remember it was a gorgeous day, and I would dare say it was the result of my grandma praying that it wouldn't rain on our wedding day.  I also remember that I was so nervous standing in front of everyone that I got the giggles and although I tried to hide it, my shoulders shook off and on throughout the first moments of our wedding.  I remember the moment Dave and I saw each other in our wedding finery before the wedding.  We had decided to take our pictures before the ceremony so that we could more quickly join our friends and family at the reception.  We wanted a special moment alone to see each other for the first time, so Dave waited for me in the sanctuary and I found my way there.  I'll never forget walking in to see him; he was looking so handsome in his tuxedo, and I remember being thankful that he had actually showed up.  :-)  I am so glad we had that moment of calm and wonder together before we joined the rest of our family and friends for the pictures.  I carried that moment with me the rest of the day.

We've learned a lot in these past 23 years, and much of it was learned the hard way (just like everyone else learns in their marriages).  But I will tell you this, I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.  In fact, I believe our love is stronger and more real because we've walked through the hard times and come out the other side choosing to love anyway.  I am a better woman because of the man the Lord allowed me to marry, and today I celebrate our 23 years together.

Babe, I'm so very thankful for you, and I count it a blessing to be married to you.  I'm looking forward to the next 23 years.  Thanks for showing Christ's love to me, for being patient with me, and for believing in me.  God has blessed me beyond what I could ever have hoped for.  I love you with everything I am!

Below is a picture of a very special anniversary present Dave and I received today from our daughter.  She used CD cases (how green, right?) to create a wall hanging for us.  I KNOW!  So very sweet, don't you think?

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I don't have much more to say today, but I would like to direct you over to Beth Moore's Blog because there is so much truth in what she shares today about making marriage work.  Check it out; I'm sure you'll agree.

Marriage Book Resources

Since I mentioned a few posts back that I would list some of my favorite marriage books that I've read through the years, I thought I'd better follow through! I have a tendency to get side-tracked; can you tell?

Anyway, today I will share three books (besides the previously mentioned For Women Only book by Shaunti Feldman) that I greatly benefited from.

The first is Love and Respect. David and I were blessed to hear Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife speak at a pastor's conference soon after his book came out. I think it was one of the best marriage teachings I have ever heard. We bought the book right then, and truth be told, we both read it in a couple of days. Both of us felt that we learned things we didn't know before that would definitely help our marriage be better. I don't know of anyone who's read the book that hasn't thought it was a book to help new habits be born. Sometimes we just have to learn a new way to communicate. I love that he shares a word picture that is easy to relate to: men hear through blue (male) earphones and women through pink (female) earphones. Sounds fundamental, doesn't it? However, when you read this book, I think you'll agree that we, as women, overlook this very real fact most of the time. I found out that I was doing and saying some things that came across to Dave as disrespectful even though that wasn't what was necessarily in my heart. And I was surprised at how small some of the things seemed to me, and yet, they were very hurtful to him because he has an innate need for respect. Women respecting men is counter-cultural in our society right now, but I know that I am commanded in the Word to respect my husband, so it benefits me to learn how to better do this.

Another book, Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, was also a very informative read for me. The subtitle says it all, "What if God's primary intent for your marriage isn't to make you happy . . . but holy? And what if your relationship isn't as much about you and your spouse as it is about you and God? Wow, now that really flies in the face of what we're told about marriage today. If we're not happy (so the secular notion goes), then surely God is not glorified, so it's okay if we get out. Now, I'm not saying that if a woman is in an abusive situation that she should continue to stay, but there are lots of Christian marriages ending for non-scriptural reasons.

A third book is called His Needs, Her Needs (subtitle: Building an Affair Proof Marriage) by Willard F. Harley. I haven't read this for a few years, but I remember thinking that it was a good book.

In speaking of all three of the above books, I realized that I don't have a copy of any of them in my home at the moment because they have all been lent out at some point to someone, and I don't for the life of me remember who has them. If you are reading this and remember that you have a copy of one of these books, feel free to let it "fly away home." But, just as quickly as the books might find their way back into my house, I know they'll be gone again soon because I have a hard time keeping books to myself!

I pray for my marriage continually, and I hope that you are praying for your marriage as well. I remember the saying that "the biggest detriment to a 'great' marriage is a 'good' marriage." I think that's true. I pray that you are not stuck in a good marriage, but that you will be able to experience a great marriage. Nothing worth having comes without much work, sacrifice, and perseverance. Keep praying; keep believing; keep working and learning. A Christ-centered, growing marriage can bring glory to God, and even though my marriage isn't perfect (and never will be because two imperfect people are in it), we continue to choose to put the Lord first in our individual lives and to look out for the other's interests. I pray our lives and our marriage bring honor to the One who continues to mold and fill us.

22 Years and Counting!

THEN........
Yes, it's official! As of today, Dave and I have been married 22 years! And now I am feeling really old, because I've been married as many years as I was single! Can this be true?

Dave and I took a drive over to Berkeley today. Although it was raining on the way over there, we experienced a beautiful, sun-shiny afternoon. Truth be told, Dave and I love the rain and would not have been disappointed had it rained all day, but we did enjoy our walks in the bright light of the crisp, cold day.

It may sound corny, but I consider myself blessed beyond measure to be married to Dave. Now.......DON'T GET ME WRONG! We have struggles just like every other married couple, and NEITHER one of us is perfect by any stretch of the imagination (just ask our kids!). There have been hard times, questioning times, blissful times, boring times, joy-filled times, hold-on-to-your-seats times, and just about every other time you can think of - JUST LIKE THE TIMES IN YOUR MARRIAGE!

Before meeting Dave, I had chosen a path that was leading me away from what God had for me. I didn't fully put my trust in God, and I took some things into my own hands, afraid that maybe God wasn't real, didn't care, and didn't have a plan for my life. That path held overwhelming hurt, betrayal, loneliness, and darkness. Had I not fully surrendered those things to the Lord after an intense time of hurt and loss, I would not have been open to what He had for me - David. I KNOW WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAVED FROM WHICH IS WHY I FULLY APPRECIATE THE BLESSING OF MY MARRIAGE! God's grace is overwhelming; this is why I consider myself blessed.

When Dave and I became engaged (on April 21, 1985 in a meadow in Yosemite with El Capitan and Half Dome looking on), we made a commitment verbally, and in our hearts, that we would never leave one another; no matter what, we would stay. Have we thought back to that commitment a time or two or a thousand? YES! Really now...........in marriage, it would be WAY easier in the moment of a tough time to bail, but that short-term easy answer would not have been the right thing and the consequences would have always followed us.

I think of the verses in Philippians which say, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider [your spouse] better than yourself. ...You should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of [your spouse]." There have been times when my selfish flesh has wanted to look out for only MY interests, but I am to consider Dave as better than myself. That doesn't mean I put myself down, but it does mean that I must consider what would be best for Dave and our marriage. And honestly, selfish ambition and vain conceit never lead to unity - in a marriage, in other relationships, or in a church. However, putting other people first, while still maintaining healthy and scriptural boundaries, does lead to unity and it brings glory to God. That is my ultimate prayer - that my marriage would bring glory to God, not because of any goodness on my part, but because of the gift of His amazing grace to me which I can pour out to my husband, and Dave can (and does) pour out that same grace to me.

As I said before, I consider myself blessed.

Wow! I didn't know where this post would lead when I sat down to share that we've celebrated a great day together, but I do pray that what poured out through my fingertips tonight is in someway honoring to the One who has given us so much.

Today.......

For Women Only

Hello everyone! Today's post is aimed at the women who read my blog; men, you can just skip this one, but you might want to direct your wife here.

I bought this book, For Women Only, when Dave and I were at a conference in Indiana quite a few years back. It is a book that I recommend if you haven't read it already. But I've also found another resource that has beneficial for me as a woman, wife, and mother.

I subscribe to the Family Life Today podcasts (which are free), and I just finished listening to some really good stuff that I think would benefit all wives. In fact, I find that most of the Family Life Today programs bless me in some way, although like anything else, each broadcast isn't always "right up my alley."

So, that being said, if you have some time to invest in bettering your marriage, go to familylifetoday.com and try to get the podcasts for Feb. 6 (Affirming a Man), Feb. 7 (The Power of a Woman), and Feb. 10 (The Cost of Sexual Purity with Josh Harris). All three are great information that your husband will thank you for hearing. Today's 2/12 message (although I haven't listened to it yet) looks to be another good installment of the series.

I've got some other great books that I will recommend in my next post, but seriously, go check out the above-mentioned book or the podcasts. Isn't your marriage worth it?