I'm still alive, and I've been thinking....

One can tell that my desire to blog is not because I want to be famous in BLOGLAND! If you've taken a ride around blogland for any length of time, you know that a key to becoming a "Blog Big Wig" is to post often so people will keep coming back. Well, I've had too much going on to check in here, but I thought I'd stop for a few minutes just to let you know I'm still kicking, even if you haven't seen me here for a while. Life seems to go in cycles, and when it rains, it pours. There have been some situations that have wrenched our hearts; unexpected tragedies and relationships in crisis. My heart has grieved for the losses of life, relationships, and dreams. I have no answers, but my heart is with those of you who mourn and grieve. Oh, may the God of all comfort reach down, and tenderly hold and strengthen you. You are in my prayers.

I can say what everyone else says, "It's been busy," but that is just a fact of life when a woman is married, has four children, and works outside the home. Sometimes the "I'm busy" excuse is altogether too convenient when there's something I want to avoid. There is, in this season of my life, always someone that needs to be somewhere, or needs helps with something, or needs to talk about something, etc... So I've been thinking about that a lot. As I'm living God's purposes for me in this busy season, He still desires that my heart be stayed on Him. I have not had the time to do much reading lately, however, I found an excerpt in a book on my "To Read" list that has me thinking "The Reflective Life" by Ken Gire is the source of the quote below.

What I've been thinking about lately, and with a healthier sense of anxiety, is this. What constitutes a life that pleases God? The closer I get to the end of my life, it seems the only question that matters. Is the life I am living pleasing to God?

The question will keep you up nights. And it should. As we pull the covers to our chin and settle into our pillows, that's the question that should bring our day into the presence of God for His scrutiny. Did the life I lived today please you, God?

How many things do we have to check off on our to-do list before we can say yes to a question like that? How many questions do we have to count before we can be done with them all and drop off to sleep?

Only one.
Have I loved well?

When asked the secret of living the Christian life, Augustine replied: "Love God, and do as you please." The thought of that is both liberating and confining. Liberating because it means we are free to do whatever we want. Confining because it means our love for God sets the boundaries of that freedom. It guides every thought, every action, every conversation. And it does so every minute of the day, every day of our life. Instead of a Byzantine complexity of laws to regulate the details of our life, we have only one. The love of God. When that is the heart of who we are, it changes what we do. And it changes something else. How we will be judged.

St. John of the Cross once said that "at the evening of our day we shall be judged by our loving." As we look back over our day, what we have done is not as important as how we have done it. Better to do little with much love than much with little love. For without love, whatever we do will be dismissed with a judicial wave of heaven's hand as just so many trivial pursuits (1 Corinthians 13:1-3).

So it's the end of the day, and each of us is lying in our bed, reflecting. Have I loved well? Has love been the beating heart pulsing through all my activities? Can it be heard in all my conversations? Seen in my eyes? Felt when other people are in my presence? Was the truth I spoke today spoken in love? Were the decisions I made today based in love? Were my reactions? My devotions?

Have I loved well?

If we can answer yes to that question, it is enough. It may not be enough for our employer. It may not be enough for our fellow workers. It may not be enough for all the carpools and committees and other things on our calendar.
It may not even be enough for us.
But it is enough for God.
- Ken Gire, "The Reflective Life: Becoming More Spiritually Sensitive to the Everyday Moments of Life"

Gena here again - Yes, that is a good question for us to ask ourselves as followers of Christ. I want to be able to say at the end of each day that all the circumstances that God allowed me to experience, all the people I interacted with, all the deeds I did were drenched in love, most specifically, HIS love.

So.....after a week and a half of not posting, these are the thoughts rambling around in my head and heart. Have I loved well?