Being a pastor's wife is a unique position. I'm not saying it's better or worse than any other role, but it is unique, and it comes with it's own particular blessings and challenges. I read the following on a blog that I check each day, and I think she speaks for many of us. I thought I would give you a glimpse into what it's like to be a pastor's wife. You can click here to see the actual blog. Below is her text:
It Really Is a Lonely Life. Really.
Juloyes Today, 07:31 AM
For those of you who aren't pastor's wives, there are some things you should know about how to encourage your pastor's wife.
1. She's not perfect either.
2. There are things that go on in the life of the church that you know nothing about but are huge burdens for her to bear.
3. She'd like friends, too.
4. So maybe you should call her for a play-date or over for dinner.
5. Pray for her that she would not get bitter or resentful.
6. You don't have to act "all spiritual" around her.
7. She does a lot that no one sees and she certainly isn't getting paid for it.
8. Unless she's in a mega-church, her family doesn't have a lot of money, probably less than you make.
9. She has times of spiritual dryness, too.
10. Sometimes she wonders if it's worth all the hassle, worth the toil it can take on her husband and children.
So the next time she does something that bugs you, remember these things and pray for her instead of complaining.
Me again: I will be honest and say that I have definitely had times that I've said it just isn't worth it. My selfishness will kick in when we are paying a price with our reputations, our marriage, our family, our emotions, our relationships. Oh, but then I get a glimpse of how worthy HE is, and I can do nothing less than to continue on where He has placed me.
Pastors and their spouses often feel lonely, also. I know that may sound strange because we are always around people, but believe it or not, it is difficult to form authentic relationships with people because many times they act differently around us simply because we are pastors. Many times, pastor's wives have to sit alone in church, at funerals, and at weddings. They often have to handle the children all by themselves because their husbands are speaking, or talking with people after services.
But....pastors and their spouses also get the blessing of being present at the most holy of moments in people's lives: births, salvation moments, baptisms, crisis, graduations, weddings, surgeries, and deaths. To be invited into a family's most holy moments is an honor that I don't take lightly. If our presence can bring any measure of hope, blessing, comfort, or peace, we are gladly there.
There are other facets of my life as a pastor's wife that I will share as we continue on this journey, but for now, I need to get off the computer and tuck the kids in bed! And by the way, their dad is home tonight to tuck them in with me! :-)