I Need You to Love Me-Barlow Girl

My choice for Video Sunday expresses part of my spiritual journey in dealing with an oppressive, undefined sense of shame that I was smothered by. There were so many things in my past that set me up to be vulnerable to shame, and I unwittingly embraced a messy shame that sloshed and spilled over my whole life. When I came into the pure light of God's love for me, my stain of unworthiness had me bent down, focused on the shadow of past sins, abuses, secrets, and failures. I knew I didn't deserve Him, or His love, but the hurt part of me desperately needed Him to need me, desire me, and cherish me. I was at a place where I needed to truly know and understand His grace and love that could, as the song says, make me forget what I had been, and make me see who I really was.

God's love has so healed particular areas of my life that they no longer hold any power over me, and those things are not a part of my identity anymore. Praise God for His indescribable gift! I no longer live in the fear that someone will find out something about me that will disqualify me from being God's child. In our secrets, Satan wields much power, but once those things have been brought out into God's healing light, Satan's power is defeated.

One of the best books I have ever read is Shame and Grace by Lewis Smedes. I have many things underlined from when I went through this book the first time, and one quote directly relates to this song. It says, "It may be that all the shame we feel inwardly, alone, in the privacy of our souls, is rooted in the fear of being shamed by other people. For this reason, the simplest of all remedies for shame is the discovery that we are in spite of everything accepted by the grace of someone we most need to accept us." So true!

If you happen to struggle with feelings of shame (whether persistent or in unguarded moments), I pray that this song will minister to you. You are sought after by the one and only Holy God; you are longed for by the One who knows everything you've ever done, said, or thought. And you need Him to love you; the good news is......He already does!

Thanks for stopping by. God's blessings to you on this Sunday evening.