Okay, this question has been ruminating in my mind ever since I wrote my first blog entry. If you know me, then you know I'm not the tech-girl, so although I knew my husband read the blogs of several friends and people in ministry, I had no clue what a blog was. I didn't quite see the sense in putting something out there that just any ol' person could read. I also felt, and still feel, that having a blog might come across as egotistical - Who do I think I am that people would actually care to read about my life and what I am thinking and learning? Well, I recognize the fact that I am nothing outside of the redeeming grace of Jesus Christ and the work He has done (and is still doing) in my life. So, I in no way wish to project the idea that I, in myself, have much to offer. In fact, these postings may be nothing more than my obedience to something I felt the Lord was calling me to do.
So, why do I blog? Well....
1) First and foremost, I felt the Lord was asking me to step out of my comfort zone and risk being vulnerable. I felt that HE wanted me to do this, and perhaps it is not for anyone else, and only for Him. I don't really know, but I do long to honor Him with my life, and do what He's asked of me. I felt that God wanted me to place my trust in him in posting entries about my life because although I don't feel I have much knowledge or many great insights to share, but I do have life experiences that God has redeemed, and I have an all-consuming love for God.
2) I felt that it would be a place where people could get to know me, not that I am anything special. It is a weird thing being a ministry wife, because people do want to know about me, my husband, and my family just because Dave is a pastor. I think there is this secret desire to know if we are just like everyone else. (Just in case you're wondering....we are!) And it's not that I desire to be aloof or distant from anyone, it's just that there are too many people for me to invite everyone over to our house individually so that we can really get to know one another. My heart often grieves over this because I am a person that much prefers knowing a few people well, rather than many people at a surface level. And with the number of people who call New Life their church home, I know many people at that surface level only. God also created me as a person that can only handle so much stimulation before my body and mind go into shut-down mode. I can't, for the life of me, figure out why God would create me that way when He knew I would be a pastor's wife. My personality and a very public role don't seem to go together too well.
3) I felt that a blog, should anyone choose to read it, would help me to connect with people who might not come up to me on Sunday mornings and with other pastor's wives. It has proven to do that already with me connecting with pastor's wives from other parts of the country, with women at New Life that I don't really know, and with women who have struggled with infertility or losing a baby. This has been a most pleasant surprise for me.
So, these are a few of the reasons that I stepped out into the blogging world. I am a private person by nature, so putting myself out there (not knowing who might be reading) is quite a stretch. I don't ever want to violate myself, my husband, or my family by what I share, but I do believe that God wants us to become more transparent in our relationships with one another and to put away the masks. I think this blog could be a part of that.
If you are looking for a pastor's wife, woman, mom, or Christian who is perfect or has all of the answers, please stop looking at this site. I am simply a child of God who desires to live true to God and myself in spite of my blunders, sin, and doubts. Just like I titled this blog, I desire this to be a place where we can come alongside one another as we travel towards Him. So, this is why I blog.
1 Thess. 2:8 "Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God, but our lives as well."